Lance & Kate Hudson Quit Each Other

by Tom Miller

That really didn’t last long. According to Celebrity Gossip, Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong have had an amicable breakup. The 2 have been out-and-about since May or so. We never really got their relationship. Sure, they’re both nice-looking and if his are-they-or-aren’t-they with Ashley Olsen is any indication, he likes ‘em tiny and goofy. And Lance Armstrong’s name is synonymous with stamina, if you know what we mean, though all that cycling had to have some negative impact on certain blood vessels.

But we sort of figured that the Lance experience was a bit of revenge on or lesson to Owen Wilson. Sure, Kate Hudson’s a nice person but how could her gig with Lance not be viewed (at least partially) as a stick in OW’s eye? Don’t get us wrong, we heard some crazy rumors about Wilson’s shenanigans off the set of Me And Marley in Miami (houseboats and finger cuffs were mentioned). We’re just glad that she didn’t start a relationship with Vince Vaughn or Luke Wilson; that would have been coooooooooold blooded. Though dating someone’s idol from a film (You, Me and Dupree) is pretty excellent revenge. We’re not sure it would make the cut on the women scorned list but it’s at least as good of revenge as a civilian losing 20 lbs, getting a boob job, and flirting with her exes friends.

And Lance is still in the grace period after whooping cancer and dominating the Tour de France that he can really do no wrong. Let’s hope that he doesn’t spit in the face of America’s love by beating up that Zac Efron guy or putting Miley Cyrus in an even more compromising position. American Hero.