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Why Married Women Love “The Lifestyle”
Could swinging save your marriage?
by Erin Mantz
I kissed a girl and I liked it. So go the lyrics of Katy Perry’s top-of-the-charts song playing endlessly on the radio. Apparently, she’s not the only one. Some married women like it, too—a lot. It’s what piqued their interest in “the lifestyle” and locked them in for life.
Part one of my swingers article, “The Surburban Swingers Club,” took you behind the scenes of a DC-area swingers club. But the same next questions seemed to evolve for everyone: How in the world do married women get here? You might imagine it’s men who are begging their wives to swing, but in many cases, it’s the wives who want to try it.
I spoke with six happily married female swingers (many are moms) and several husbands (some names have been changed), who spoke honestly about their motivations, meet-ups, and ah-ha moments. Here, a peek into what interested them in the lifestyle, and what keeps them going back for more…
On a typical Saturday night at the Tabu Social Club in Catonsville, Maryland, Carolyn and Dave hit the dance floor. They’re a thirtysomething, married couple from a comfortable Washington, DC suburb. They work in downtown DC, drive their kids in carpools, and may be one table over from you at Outback Steakhouse, talking about mortgage payments and Labor Day barbecue plans. And they are swingers. They have had sex with other couples in their home and at swinger house parties; on boats and in clubs; in threesomes, foursomes, group sex rooms, and much more.
Tonight, they are at Tabu to hook up, hang out with friends, meet new ones, and get to know others that sparked their interest in popular online swinging sites such as the Club Voodoo community. Across the room, they spot a couple they know and have thought about “playing” with. The women gravitate to one another and are suddenly dancing, then dirty dancing, then Carolyn’s tongue is inside the woman’s mouth. Carolyn often enjoys passionately kissing a fun, sexy woman—she believes a woman just knows how to please another woman and create an erotic environment.
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1 judy jerome // Sep 9, 2008 at 11:07 am
many women have learned that the ultimate way to “share ” her man with another women is to ” snow-ball” !
2 judy jerome // Sep 9, 2008 at 10:58 am
the concept of ” swinging” is so ” thrilling ” that it is hard to get the mind around it !! However some time’s the male panic”s and get’s scared ! and want’s out !!!
3 D // Aug 14, 2008 at 8:39 pm
The name of the site you refer to is lovevoodoo.com, you use the wrong name in your articles.
4 Todd & Elena // Aug 4, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Great article. First fair article I have seen about the lifestyle in a long time! We appreciate your professionalism. We are the owners of LoveVooDoo.com and would like to invite your readers to join our group. If not our site, they should definitely join a lifestyle site. Its a great way to get your feet wet, and learn what it is all about.
Todd & Elena
5 Isis // Aug 4, 2008 at 8:18 pm
Erin - Thanks for a very well written article that is spot on.
Vicki - Hat’s off to Tabu, our favorite hangout on the weekends. My hubby and I are a host couple and take show new folks the club and orient them to the rules of the club on many weekend evenings. I can’t emphasize enough what you said about the club and lifestyle being all about the ladies and what Erin said about communication. We must tell new folks these 2 things about half a dozen times while we show them the place. Also, most if not all our best friends (not just playmates) are in the lifestyle and it’s very true that we get together outside the lifestyle regularly with our children. Keep up the awesome job with the club!!
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