Luther Campbell Weds

by Tom Miller

Hydraulic! Hydraulic! Score! Luther Campbell AKA Luke AKA Luke Skyywalker AKA Uncle Luke got married in Dallas on the 17th of July. The former front man of 2 Live Crew married Kristin Thompson in front of 300 friends, family, and hatin’ ass busters according to The San Francisco Gate. We don’t know diddly about Kristin Thompson except that she met Luther Campbell in a deli in Florida (we assume Miami). We’re confident that she’s a nice, clean girl because there is no way that Luke would attempt to make a ho a housewife. Sure, Dr. Dre was the one who warned against it but we’re confident that 1990’s style booty bass is predicated upon that credo.

We’re willing to bet that “Me So Horny,” 2 Live Crew’s magnum opus, has gotten many, many couples together since its 1989 release. We’re also willing to bet that there was a correlation between the number of plays that song got and the level of debauchedness of a spring break in Panama City circa 1993.

You may be thinking, “Damn, some of 2 Live Crew’s lyrics were a touch misogynistic. Who would want to marry their most visible member?” Interestingly, Luther Campbell addresses that and more in an earnest interview with Time Out New York. Strange days. VH1 is starting a reality show, Parental Advisory, about Campbell on August 4th. It follows him as he manages an adult business (shocker), a couple of teenage kids (his), and a fiancé (spoiler: they get married). It can’t be any worse than all those shows with Flava Flav. Do you think R Kelly is going to get this kind of kid gloves, nostalgic treatment in 10 years? Are they even comparable?