What’s in a Name?

by Jenny Block

Juliet:
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

Those were Shakespeare’s thoughts, but I’m not so sure. I have friends who have been together for seventeen years, a lesbian couple who live in California, and just got married. When they refer to one another they say, “my wife.” But they said that even before the state deemed their love legal.

I have another pair of friends, also a lesbian couple, who got married in Hawaii years ago and were together for many years prior to that. They call each other, “my partner,” and always have. The piece of paper didn’t change that for them. They tried girlfriend for a while but it always felt too casual for them, which brings me to my point:

“Girlfriend” sounds kind of casual to me, too. But it seems like it’s all I got.

I call my significant other, “my girlfriend.” One of them anyway. The other one I call, “my husband.” This language allows me to get away with a certain amount of ambiguity, to “pass” if you will. Once I say husband, it’s assumed that, when I say “girlfriend,” I’m using the Southern version of “friend who’s a girl,” no romance implied. But that’s not what I mean. Nor do I mean anything dismissive or fleeting when I use that term. And so, I wonder, do I need a new word? If I do, what would it be? If not, what happens to a relationship that’s not properly named?