Michael Phelps: Love Triangle?

by Tom Miller

Yes. Ye-he-he-hes. We have been dying to write something about Michael Phelps and his glory at this Olympics but there has never been a relationship bent. We were thinking of doing something on his mom maybe how raising champions has replaced dating for single mothers. But, c’mon, that sucks, man. We were dying for an angle and we may have gotten 1, a triangle to be exact.

According to the Telegraph, Michael Phelps has been linked to both American swimmer Amanda Beard and British model Lily Donaldson. You may know Beard as the nervous teen clinging to her teddy bear at the 1996 games or as a huge animal lover as she got bare-ass for PETA and Playboy. Her event signature event is the breaststroke, of course.

Lily Donaldson is the new face of Burberry and has been seen in Dior and Dolce & Gabbana ads. She was supposedly dating the son of Vogue Paris’ editor, Carine Roitfeld. So, it’s a stretch, right?

Not that we don’t buy into the Telegraph’s story as we’ve seen it in a few places, but it does seem somewhat farfetched. Don’t get us wrong, what woman wouldn’t want to be around Michael Phelps right now? Maybe if you’ve got a thing for short torso-ed, narrow-shouldered losers with overbites. Some women might, it is a type, we suppose.

Now that Michael Phelps has taken his record 8th Gold Medal and is done competing, the Olympic Village shall be his playground. Every little bit of repression he’s had to deal with during his constant 4 years of training is out the window. All that wanting and wanting and wanting… gone. To be fair, it would probably be a good idea for him to start with a buff Olympic athlete (like Dara Torres) or possibly an American Gladiator (like Jet or Panther), just so someone’s back doesn’t accidentally get broken while he works out the kinks in his technique. Anyone buying these awesome rumors?