Can A Feminist Like Spanking?

by Jessica

Sex columnist Dan Savage tackles a spankophile’s sticky wicket in his Savage Love column this week: a young woman wants her boyfriend to both spank and respect her.

She writes:

I’m a female college student and a feminist. I expect equal pay, equal treatment, and fairness when it comes to chores at home. But I have fantasies of domestic discipline. Some days, I’d like to rush home and clean the apartment and make dinner for my boyfriend wearing only an apron. Then I’d appreciate it if he’d find some excuse—something I did wrong—to spank me until I cry before having wild sex with me.

Girlfriend harbors some serious 1950s housewife “Betty Crocker” fantasies—but realizes she doesn’t want her relationship to be all Betty Crocker, all the time. The cooking/cleaning/apron-wearing/spanking is a heightened form of foreplay for her, but it looks so much like reality (rather, some people’s reality) that she’s fearful her guy is going to blend the fantasy into real life. And thus she asks Dan Savage:

How can you be taken seriously as an equal when you tell your boyfriend that you’d like him to dominate you outside the bedroom (the cooking and cleaning aspect) on occasion?

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