Jessica Simpson Thinks Tony Romo Rules

by Tom Miller

According to our homies over at The Frisky, Jessica Simpson just jinxed the bejesus out of her relationship with Tony Romo for referring to him as the love of her life in a forthcoming issue of People magazine, the magazine about people.

How jaded have we become that someone can’t make bold “love of my life” claims without people crying death knell? Sure, karma (plus dharma and dogma) does have a way of punching us in the proverbial jejunum when we get a bit big for our britches but come on. She’s a fragile, tiny, large-breasted flower prone to wearing her heart on her sleeve and falling intensely into things. Let’s let her dance like no one’s watching and love like she’s never had her ass broken.

Are we a little jealous that we didn’t come up with this doomed angle first? Maybe a little, but we sort of hope she proves ‘em wrong. But, we suppose, the likelihood of a very public romance making isn’t great. But the good news for her is that the guys shes dating/marrying are getting progressively more famous and the looks aren’t falling off. So, a public breakup with Tony Romo could lead her to Owen Wilson, A-Rod, or George Clooney conceivably. It’s a bit of a stretch but some feminists like to be spanked by their boyfriends and some people prefer their cabbage boiled, so anything is possible.