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The “New Infidelity”
Is masturbation kind of like cheating?
by Jessica
Some husbands diddle their secretaries at the office. Other husbands diddle… themselves.
Maybe jerking off at home wasn’t private enough? On the Details blog, sex writers Em & Lo talked to a husband and wife couple struggling—yes, struggling—with hubby’s masturbation. The wife griped:
“Just imagining him there in his office on his own, it seemed like the ultimate act of desperation, something you’d only do if you didn’t have a partner.”
Except that’s perception, not reality! Em & Lo say most guys in a long-term relationship still go at it: “A 1994 study found that nearly 85 percent of men living with a sexual partner masturbate, compared with only 45 percent of women.” Still, the red flags aren’t too hard to understand: while some insecurities may arise from worrying that one’s sex life isn’t as good as it should be, the fact that a lot of dudes like to jerk off to pornography is another reason wives and girlfriends could be pissed off.
But unlike infidelity, masturbating can’t cause pregnancies or spread diseases. It seems to me its more important for couples who masturbate when they’re alone to be self-reflective enough to know, 1) they’re asking for what really want in bed, and 2) they’re not addicted to pornography. The first is inconsiderate to yourself, the second is inconsiderate to your partner—it puts you in Trey MacDougal on Sex and the City territory, surreptitiously whacking off to Juggs in the bathroom while your sexy wife simmers back in bed.
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1 Andrena // Sep 26, 2008 at 7:50 pm
well my friends says he’s not into sex anymore but he likes to watch flicks says he does it to get turned so he can have sex with me but if i leave home he jumps to watch a flick and masturbates. It makes me feel as if he is just not turned on by me no more and rather go elsewhere for pleasure, To me though i feel as if someone else may be getting sex from him because if he likes porno then when i’m naked around him or try to put on something sexy he should get a arousel from that
2 Beatn Banana // Sep 21, 2008 at 11:47 am
Rubbing one out is not cheating. For women who believe that, I can understand why your guys are choking the chicken. Many times it means they aren’t getting what they need in bed or not often enough… Give him a reason to log off the computer. I work with someone who hasn’t been laid by his wife in 6 months. He probably has worn out his PC! For those other 15% who claim not to masturbate even when married, they are:
1. religous fanatics who only have sex to mate.
2.Lying out their teeth
or
3.Have found someone else to take care of it for them.