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Is Divorce Becoming a Luxury?
Ready to split but cash-strapped, some couples are finding divorce too expensive.
by Tobi Elkin
Nine months ago, Rachel Gund (some names have been changed), 44, decided she wanted to divorce her husband of nearly 20 years. But nine months later, she continues living under the same roof with him and their two teenage daughters: Neither partner can afford to move out so they live like roommates, sharing the marital home and dividing the expenses.
Sound far-fetched? Not really, say attorneys and therapists who are seeing more couples delaying divorce filings and physical separation due to the economic recession. In many cases, couples can’t sell their homes because of the soft real estate market. In others, one or both partners has suffered a job loss. Often, there’s a mountain of shared debt that must be cleared before a split can occur.
“Cohabiting has spiked because people just can’t afford to move out. They can’t afford to buy themselves out [of the house],” notes Kathyrn Dickerson, partner at Smolen Plevy in Vienna, Va. “You used to be able to refinance a mortgage more easily, but not any longer.” In some cases, she says the value of a house is “under water” (when the value of the home falls beneath the value of the mortgage) and there’s simply no equity to divide. “The question is who will take what debt,” Dickerson says.
Gund and her husband signed a legal separation agreement in March (2008) and continue living together. The agreement details the percentage of the living and childcare expenses each partner must pay. The couple also agreed not to bring dates home. In the state of New York where Gund lives, the legal separation agreement becomes the divorce agreement so in March 2009, she will be divorced. She plans to put the house up for sale just prior to that.
Yael Lazar, a Long Island-based attorney, says she’s handled more legal separation agreements in the last year – they cost about $2,000. “I’m finding in my practice that divorce is a luxury in this economy I have some clients that have stopped the divorce process midway because of what it would cost them to live separate and apart.”
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1 alphadominance // Nov 18, 2008 at 6:37 pm
Yet another great reason to cohabitate vs. marriage from the get-go. Marriage in America has become an attorney’s feeding frenzy. If it’s all about the love, as women are so fond of reminding us when the discussion turns to pre-nups, maybe we don’t need the legal mumbo jumbo to start with. Why not engage in a marriage of conviction that is a vow between you that is not legally enforced. After all, if women are our equals, they don’t need the stick of legal oppression to defend themselves, they can do it as well as we can right?
2 T.B. // Oct 10, 2008 at 10:05 pm
I’m staying in my marriage for the health insurance. My husband and I are separated, but I can’t afford to live on my own nor can I afford the mortgage alone.
I’m glad I’m not the only one doing this… Our friends think we are strange, but it’s working for us.
3 Mr Apricot // Oct 4, 2008 at 8:05 am
I guess the upside, if there is one, is that one is more likely to work harder toward a reconciliation when ones material self-interest is at stake as opposed to ‘just’ ones emotional well-being.
4 Fred // Sep 23, 2008 at 5:58 pm
If you get divorced, you are on the line for heavy, heavy duty payments for child support. In many states until age 23.
If the child wants to go to college, you can get stuck with charges that you have no control over. For example: one parent unilaterally, heavily subsidizes living expenses for the kid — the other parent gets to pay half.
A non-divorced family unit, has really NO obligation to pay for a kids education, and certainly would not be forced to pay for an education they could not afford. A divorced parent can!
5 Florida Online Divorce // Sep 17, 2008 at 12:42 am
Online divorce services will help you to complete your divorce documents from the comfort of your home, without incurring the cost of an attorney, or dealing with lengthy completion and delivery periods.
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