Polyamory: Open’s Double Meaning

by Genevieve

Those in search of a “a place for people to rediscover non-sexual touch and affection” could find it last Friday in New York City at Polyamorous NYC’s Cuddle Party, one of a number of events that made up the 8th annual Poly Pride Weekend.

So, a festival for those who open themselves emotionally and sexually to two or more partners began with a decidedly non-sexual event? Yes. As Tango’s polyamory columnists, Jenny Block and Dan Eldridge have pointed out, an open relationship is more about communication than anything else—including sex. The New York Times today features an interview with a polyamorous New York Couple, Ed Vessel and Diana Adams, who got together in part because of Adams’ ability to “talk.” With multiple partners comes a greater risk of jealousy or an STD damaging the relationship, so honest, artful communication is essential.

In Vessel and Adams case, their “full disclosure” approach extends to their families. Both have told their loved ones about their situations—not always an easy step for the polyamorous set, and the Times points out that the pair were the only subjects interviewed who were willing to share their real names.

Increased exposure breeds greater understanding, so perhaps reading the polyamorists’ tale nestled among stories about the runways of Paris Fashion Week and to whom the ring belongs to when engaged couples break up will help pave the way for other poly couples to live more comfortably out in the “open.”