Leap of Faith(ful)

by Colleen Oakley

At my gym last night, my trainer told the class, “Colleen’s getting married next Saturday!” The whole class cheered and when they quieted down, a woman named Dede piped up, “Only when you’re married do you learn what true happiness is. And then it’s too late.”

I laughed really hard. Probably because I’m not married yet and don’t know how true that statement is.

This week instead of focusing on the wedding (yes, still stressed), I’ve been trying to focus on life with Fred, which is what I used to do before wedding planning became all-consuming.

I made the mistake of watching Oprah’s “Why Men Cheat” episode on Tivo. Even my therapist chastised me: “Why in the world would you do that two weeks before you’re getting married?”

“Because I want to know how to keep Fred from cheating on me.”
“Stop watching Oprah, for starters,” she said. Wise woman.

After I watched it, Fred had to sit through my interrogation at dinner. “Would you ever cheat on me?”

“No.”

“Even if I stopped paying attention to you?”

“No.”

“Even if a woman that looked like Gabrielle Union came into your office and took all her clothes off?”

“Uh… maybe. Just kidding— no.”

The fact is, neither of us have any way of knowing how we’re going to feel in 10, 15, 20 years. We’re making this promise to each other that we will be faithful and we’ll work hard every day to make that a reality, but nobody really knows for sure. And that’s what marriage is— a leap of faith.

I trust that Fred would turn down a Gabrielle Union-look-a-like and he trusts that I won’t watch Oprah on a daily basis and become even more neurotic. Let’s hope we’re both right.