|
How an Affair Saved My Marriage
In an unexpected twist, an affair brings a marriage back to life.
by Anonymous
It began as a typical Saturday night, out with my closest women friends. But on that particular evening, as we sat, laughing and talking in a popular New York restaurant, acquaintances were seated nearby celebrating their friend Alex’s* birthday.
They invited us to join their table for a toast, which turned into several. When the house music came on and everyone headed for the bar, Alex— handsome and playful—took my hand and led me to the dance floor.
In the time it took for his fingers to encircle mine, what had been a quiet attraction became an all-consuming need. I heard the warning voice in my head reminding me that this was dangerous territory: however alone I might feel, I was, in fact, married.
And then, for the first time in 10 years, I silenced it. As Alex placed his hands on my hips, I knew with absolute clarity that I was about to have an affair. I knew it was a decision that could unravel even the strongest of unions. I never could have guessed that it would save mine.
I had felt this kind of passion only once before, when I first encountered the man who would be my husband. I was wandering my college campus, terrified, when a gorgeous man walked confidently up the hill. He saw me, and asked if he could help me find my way. “Well, yes,” I wanted to respond. “How about for forever? Does forever work for you?”
  (8 votes, average: 2.13 out of 5) Loading ... |
Email to a Friend
Share on Facebook
Digg It
Delicious
Newsvine
Stumble
Reddit
1 Kali // Oct 13, 2008 at 8:16 pm
This woman did not save her marriage by cheating. She just had a man who was willing to overlook her mistake and then apologize for having done nothing wrong.
I detest people like this. Your friends shouldn’t be secrets.
2 J Smith // Oct 10, 2008 at 11:05 am
The simple fact is that she cheated on him and she felt that he had to apologize befor they got back together. I hope James grows a set and realizes that he deserves so much better than to be cheated on, by a selfish, immature, and emotionally caustic slut. He might not have “been there” for her like she thought he needed to be, but geez he was trying to become a doctor, and that takes a very large commitment. She knew this going into the relationship and marriage, but couldn’t handle sticking through the rough times to get back to the good times. No, she needed him to apologize to her for forcing her into an affair, that she continues to this day. Emotional affairs are more hurtful than physical ones. There are many therapists that can help couples in this area, but no she justifies her affair, because it is his fault. I feel dumber for having wasted my time in reading the dribble of this women”s pathetic life!!
3 ricci // Sep 23, 2008 at 11:11 am
No matter how you describe it, you are still an undevoted cheater. This is not what true marriage is. If it must remain a secret, then it probobly wrong. If your husband doesn’t fill your needs, let him go and find someone who accepts and wants only him.
4 John Romaine // Sep 21, 2008 at 5:13 pm
Some Guy hit the nail on the head. The author clearly has the morals of a bunny rabbit and rationalizes like crazy to make herself feel ok with what she does. This part of the article seems to sum it all up:
“And though I keep my relationship with Alex a secret from my husband, it is not out of guilt or shame. It is because I do not wish to remind James of a time when I chose another.”
So she is still keeping a relationship with her former (and perhaps future) lover, rationalizes how keeping the relationship secret from her husband is okay. So if it is okay to do so, then why do you have to hide the relationship? No, I mean the real reason, not the nonsensical excuse given in the article. The constant rationalizing throughout the article is the clue. People who do that are usually trying to convince themselves that right is right and wrong is also right. I think Ms. Anonymous will find that it buys very temporary emotional comfort at the expense of protracted future misery. A lie told to oneself a thousand times does not magically become the truth, but merely a lie a thousand times over.
5 Too Selfish // Sep 18, 2008 at 8:59 pm
I think considering the circumstances it’s no surprise that she had an affair, because male or female, when people stray it is most often for lack of attention or appreciation. The thing I disagree with is that she is still “friends” with the man she had an affair with. It’s just silly. Especially because her husband doesn’t know about it. I think that’s bullsh*t and still a sign of her completely selfish behavior. What’s to say that the next time she and her husband have a fight or a rough patch that she won’t go running back to his bed. Irresponsible!!!!
Read All 51 Comments on How an Affair Saved My Marriage